No one just does that, you’re probably thinking now. A lot of people do this, let me tell you. Sick, right?
But that’s how it is, when an adult puts their own needs first. Such a mother does not have the ability to see that she is punishing and destroying her own child. Because she is sick. Yes, you read absolutely right. A mother who is angry and bitter at the child’s father. Which is driven by jealousy, power and the need to be marked. These are the mothers I’m talking about. There are also such fathers, but now I choose to focus on mothers.
Because I want to, and because I can.
So you dear mother of children reading this, I challenge you to read on. You get away so incredibly cheaply, you see, as this usually doesn’t get much focus. At least not in the media and in the legal system. I am trying to do something about this.. and I will never give up. Do you know why? For your child. Someone has to speak up for these children, this “someone” is me. Once again because I want to, I can and I dare to go against you.
I understand very well that fathers of children are terrified of putting the public on this, it is because these mothers twist and turn everything that is said, they use everything against you, and are only interested in slandering you as a father. You fight and fight, but just hit the wall. You are fighting a battle you cannot win. You don’t even get to meet your child. And you have never done anything wrong to your own child.. I believe you. Because I know that we have an incredible number of cases like this, where fathers are undeservedly deprived of their children.
What I wonder? I wonder how gross lies you really put on your children, about the father of your children? About why dad doesn’t call, come to visit, etc.? Are you woman enough to tell your child that you have made this choice? That it’s actually you who keeps the father away? No, I know you haven’t. You are far too cowardly for that.
You blame the father, and come up with even more lies.. about how terrible the children’s father is. And this is how you talk to everyone, about your own child’s father. The one you once chose to carry this child with, whom you loved so dearly. Scary how quickly your opinions turned? You do a U-turn on behalf of your child, and deprive your own youngster of the opportunity to have a father? His own flesh and blood, and a wonderful family! All this your child loses.. because of your selfish needs.
Shame on you, you should. How do you plan to explain this when your child is old enough to sit next to you?
It’s one thing that you’re ruining your child, because you actually are. But who are you to make such serious decisions for their common child? Because there are two of you who make a child, you do not have exclusive rights as a mother. I understand that you might think so, as the legal system makes it very easy for you to operate like this.
And if you have enough power and money, you will go the furthest. As a mother, you at least have the power. Or if your lies are thought out enough. Well guys.. this power struggle is ruining the future of your child. You as a mother, do you understand what I am talking about now? No, I thought so.
Because you will never understand. Because there is something missing, in your soul and in your heart. So to you fathers in this situation, here’s to you:
I had a mother like that, for 28 years. I was deprived of the opportunity to have a father.. because it suited my mother better. But I had a stepfather for many years, whom I always called dad. I thought he was my biological father until I was 7 years old. Then I got the news that I had another dad, but I didn’t get to meet him. Not until I was 12. Every single time my mum and stepdad argued, she turned him on me. She gave me completely wild stories, a bunch of lies and was only interested in slandering my stepfather. Just like it did with my biological father.
Once she was so pissed off at him that she was going to “make up” as she said. She wanted to “shut up” about something he had done wrong, and asked ME to call the police to gossip, as well as report him for theft. Which unfortunately I did. Than to put such a responsibility on a child?
In another episode where she was angry, she woke me up at night and asked me to steal his phone. I was going to take out the sim card and crack it secretly. Something I also unfortunately completed. The next day they became friends again and I was at school. When I got home my mom pretended nothing happened and they both asked if I had seen his sim card. Mum pretended nothing, and started accusing me.. As loyal as I was, I took all the blame on my stepfather.
Mum just stood there and let me get THAT slap in the face, got house arrest for 14 days and I had to pay back NOK 500 for the sim card, out of many weeks’ weekly salary. All because SHE would not lose face, for something she had asked me to do. Why would she use me? Why would she turn me against him?
This went on for years. But dear mothers and fathers.. this ended with me turning 12-13 years old and starting to think for myself. I understood more, I saw more. I also finally got to meet my biological dad, which made my life complete. He was amazing. But it turned out unfortunately with the one meeting. Then he died. He hanged himself. Drastically written? Yes. But that is the brutal truth.
I cut off contact with my mother overnight because I was so angry with her. That time my mom lost her child for good. I couldn’t forgive her, and chose a life without her. She had chosen the most important person in my life. So be careful dear mothers, one day you will hit the wall and the truth will come crashing down your door.
Then you sit there without having the opportunity to explain yourself. But most important of all.. do you think I felt good inside? Do you think that decision was easy for me to make as a child? Think how much pain I had all these years, because I ended up with this choice? But it was YOU as a mother who put me in that situation. All in all, this is very devastating for a child.
All children have a right to their father, it is not up to you as a mother to decide this. You are COMPLETELY wrong if you think this is up to you. There are actually people in prison who get to see their children, drug addicts have alone time, there is also supervised time. I understand that there are cases where the father can also be harmful to the child, etc., but these are not the cases I am talking about now.
I’m talking about those fathers who are a healthy role model, who will stand up and be there for their child. But who are stopped because they have children with someone who only thinks about themselves. Which is driven by jealousy and bitterness, maybe because things didn’t go the way she wanted. But you can’t force a man to put up with you, and take one child away from him because he doesn’t want to be with you anymore. The person you punish the most is your own child. But such a mother will never see this.. they lack something unfortunately. So dear dads out there, NEVER give up. It won’t be long before there are drastic changes in our justice system, because this cannot continue.
Open your eyes, so more children escape and experience this insane power game. Feel free to share this if you agree, there will never be enough focus on exactly this.
Therefore, it becomes our task, as the system does very little to help the left-out parents out there, as well as their children.
Until then..
NÅR BARNEMOR TAR FRA DEG BARNET DITT
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